Though I didn't expect much on the Exams this time with everything messed up in my mind, in my life, I surprisingly managed to do pretty well. Not too good, not too bad. Also, not been feeling too well, lately.
Resolutions are lame. I can never keep up with them. Never ever. Good that I didn't make any this time, although I can't stop myself from pretending I did and then shouting on myself and then um, laughing at myself at how weak I am at controlling myself.
Back to school in 3 days and then I'll be in class 12. Just a year and then I'll be out of the place. My second home, quite literally. A total of ten years out of my meagre 16, then 17. More than half my life. Quite a lot of time spent there.. and it always will be the most beautiful building. Ever.
Not even grown-up yet, and reminiscing of the good times. :D
Remember when I had perfect eyesight, when I didn't have to worry, didn't have to take care of a million different things, didn't have to make mental notes that I conveniently forget the next second. But I'll confess this, I hope I take them and stuff then in some old, ratty chest of drawers, all cramped in just as they are. Just so that they all come tumbling down on me one day, when I mistakenly pull out the drawer in the dark, just out of the blue, miraculously and I can use all those stupid mental notes to do something extraordinary. Write up something. Anything.
Now you see what an "imaginary mind" truly is. It is no asset. Just a pain in the.. err, neck.
Been a long time since I relaxed, not caring a fig about stuff like normal people do. I breathe out and I say "Wow.. NOT having a life completely rocks." For now. Yes.
A week in Delhi was much help in getting an idea of what kind of life I'd be leading once I left school. I loved it and I'm dead sure I'd be loving it more than ever when the big things happens. So this is it then, the most important year in my life and I've got my own rules this time. Again. I've got to get a lot of stuff out of my mind, totally out of my system. This is hard work.
Delhi 6 is definitely one of the best movies I've seen. And of course, I don't get how someone can't like it. But sure, intelligent movies are for intelligent people. It was like seeing my thoughts, arguments, beliefs come alive and shout out on the screen. It was amazing and better, because it was out there, not between two people no-one knows, who are out there having a fight on the phone, hanging up on each other, stating that "it's not God's fault" and the other one says, "well, there is no God to start with." Th latter would be me. Finit. And it strikes me as utter stupidity when people fight over variations of nothingness. And a whole dimension of mind-boggling variety of it too.
It takes brains to reason. And absolutely nothing to swallow stuff. And it's getting increasingly interesting for me to see how people confuse spirituality with religion. Looking at it, I think, it would be best for me to study religion, better and more satisfying than studing abnormal psychology. I mean, it's a whole world of disease out there. Except that's now what we call it, is it?
Not one thing would be the same if we didn't have the religious inclinations of the Almighty into consideration while running the world. It's even worth thinking if your city would be called what it is if the people had turned out different. Thinking about what you would've been like is a different ball game altogether. Consider religion, society, choices, decisions, regions, races, similarities and disparities. And yes, people still think studying numbers and formulaes is oh-so-wow, well, intelligent. Talk about people, eh?
The cultural landscape, the urban landscape, even the natural landscape. What you're wearing right now. What you're sitting on. What you're sipping on and what you took a bite of last. Look at how you've cut your hair. It is society who states that guys have shorter hair. Girls have longer. Someone's studying, someone's working. Someone's smoking, someone's in jail. Births and reincarnations. Saving lives and taking lives. Loving and hating. Choosing criteria. What would have Anarchy done. Would rights and duties been regulatory if we didn't have a number of distinctions of the basis of religion and caste and gender.
Wouldn't there have been Peace? Wouldn't people be learning the same stuff, teaching the same stuff, feeling the same feelings? And very well be sharing what the world had to offer. And I don't think cultures are totally dependent on religion.
Too much of the angry ranting. But really, people should take it easy sometimes. Hello, one can't own someone else's life. They believe in God and then they think they ARE god.
Something really miraculous happened. Ordinary. But incredibly miraculous for an eleventh grader who keeps surpising herself. A 9/10 on an article I had to write in the english exam. It was 99% rant. So it just turns out I have to turn aggressive towards anything.. and the job's done. I get it. Being "extreme" helped a lot. Moderating things doesn't help at all. Moderate something and you'll be having moderate effect on everything around you. Who remembers someone's who's the same all the time?
Explaining it, 9's the highest you can go. I've NEVER been there before. Close, but never quite there. Life just turned my way. Finally. There are some words - like "euphoria" and "pure joy" that I type a lot, say a lot, but then I hardly ever feel it. And this was one real experience.
Emotions are the essence of life :D
And yes, Delhi 6. Beautiful movie. Music. Lyrics. Just the way I like it. Of course, everyone likes stuff they can relate to. And there was much of that in it. Sure, matches RDB, and goes a notch better too. For me at least. Loved it. :)
And it also gives me immense joy in laughing out loud, when I recall this guy in his late teens getting out of the theatre and yelling out to his friends: "Worst movie ever. Time waste." Look what we're leading to, India. People would rather see idiots dancing and prancing about in clowns' gear- which is of course, what I call "normal" clothes, rather than get inspired to, if they're not already, to get their country in shape and DO something. Not sing and dance.
Typical local scenario. They sing and dance. Whoa, it's the teachers' day, we respect our teachers, we love them yes, let us all dance. And bore them to death. And have a blast. And bore them to death. Thank you. Not. And oh no, it August 15, let's sleep in. And let's sleep in yet again. And again. And. Again.
Life's a party for most of them.. but they just dance to the music.
They don't face it.