29 July 2007

Unexpected Happiness..

...the best kind there is! :)

Yet again, my answer was chosen as the Best Answer. I half expected it myself. But when I looked at it again, made me think, if I can write such words..then why don't I let myself get affected? That's strange. I own my words but I don't feel them. Consider the question again, I find myself in the same situation as it might've been for her.

Question asked by Cassidy:
How do you love yourself when you are being constantly criticized or attacked?
Its very easy to love yourself when things are going well, when you have wonderful friends and family who support you...but how do you love yourself when, things aren't going so well and people are attacking you etc. Thanks :) Happy Friday!

My answer..read "the best ever :)" :
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker

..and it is easier to love yourself when no-one else does! It happens once in a while that people start questioning you on your decisions or anything else. Absolutely anything, however absurd. Just don't depend on them too much..so that you have to be loved by everyone else first, and then think about loving yourself? That would be the most mindless thing ever, if you ask me.

Maybe things never do go well, you just think that everything's okay. Perceptual reality. Be solipsistic, it's what in your mind that matters.

But maybe, just maybe, I don't trust my words. I don't tust myself. But I know that's the only suitable thing to do right now. The only way out. Help me, Asmi! :)

Perpetual Reality?

I wouldn't ever have dared imagine that I'd have to..or I will..study to keep my mind off studying! Goodness gracious, that almost gives away everything, nothing is perpetual. Not even what you thought of yourself. But surpisingly, it's doesn't matter one bit what I'm doing as far as I don't hurt myself. When the hard part's done, I welcome everything..anything at all, come my way. Please. I've accepted everything I had to. Ready for more...almost!

What's the worst that could happen? It's not a matter of life or death. Oh yes, it is. You bet it is! And now that it is, I don't give a shit to what would come. Let it, I already have everything I ever dreamt of. I never thought of dreams, they just came and went away, almost as if a careless whisper about something as careless as it gets. For once, I really know what I'm writing about. Feels good, for the moment. This is living, live for today. Tomorrow is another life. Just feels so.

I'm just glad this isn't related to something which I'd have been really worried about. Helps in being neutral about whatever has to happen. 'Cause I seriously don't know what to do! Forget that, anyway.

I experienced Psychedelia, finally! And that was wasted, wasted on not-worth-my-time kind of waste. Hm..Schizophrenic. Phew. Oh well, reading about what people do to listen to their music, my music. The Music. Weed..grass..whatever you call it. Disturbingly fascinating. But I say, why do they even need it? Music does it all for me. In one go.

Back to the other me..all concerned about what has to happen and what should not.I just wish I could say this again, after a week, maybe..."Miracles do happen.." I just hope. Hope. Love. Faith. Pink Floyd. Haha..got here again. Can't help it. Just pray..can't. Atheist. HOPE.

28 July 2007

Wake the Spirit..

Looking at how a movie effects people, the good and the bad of it. The worst could be getting affected so much that it effects everything around you. Even a song could..evoke that something, you know what. Means something different for every person. Naturally..that is evident but why do they simply choose to ignore it? Part of the crowd? Suit yourself..then I'm happy in ignorance.

If someone just chooses to do what is best. You know, the best as seen..by everyone. Hmm, just that you think that's right. Anything acceptable, well-liked..d-uh. Sometimes makes me think that I wasn't even made to live in this world..should've been sent to Mars!

Why is it getting harder to find like-minded people? Absolutely no-one to talk to, so it just gets meaningless talking about stuff like this. Live your dreams... My life is a dream, and I'm alive. Beat the odds. I say, where are they? It's me who's odd. Conquer your fears, I fear fear. Phobophobic, big time! Take a risk, as if anything safe is left. I don't have any options left. Erase boundaries..been there, done that! Trust your instincts. If you allow me, please.

"Take up a challenge.
Never give up.
Prove yourself."

All of it seems meaningless in my case, and please do me a favour, do that for me. Inspire me!

I own my words, I right wrongs, I dare to dream but as I said already, life is just a dream and I hope I never wake up from it. But incredibly there are no dreams that I dreamt..for which I'd have to fight. I wish I'd thought of something like that, life is getting boring, kinda! I push limits and play with pride all the time. Tougher the better ha, telling me!! I face my demons not that I know of any of my angels. Taste victory...in what? Atleast gimme a clue, anyone!! Please..or I'd just be what I am.

But talking of everyone else, I'm not going to barge into your personal space and tell you to wake up, and look at yourself. What are you trying to make out of yourself? They say..live your dreams..but what they are doing themselves, is murdering their dreams. Why dream, then? Remember how every child has a dream..he dreams of magic because no-one then tells him that something like that doesn't exist. He dreams of becoming something he wants to. No-one tells him to stop dreaming. Why?! Then why not just slap the stupid kid right there and tell him right then that dreaming is wrong. "Shame on you! You shouldn't dream..it's going to be shattered. You'll do what you're supposed to do. What we make of you, not what you dreamt you would be." Makes me cry.

I was never stopped from doing anything, never ever..sometimes, I wish everyone had parents like mine. I never had dreams like these, just simply. They wouldn't have stopped me. They got the wrong child. I've always let them down, and I know I won't stop doing this. Call it whatever it is..fate? Luck? I don't know.

I'm lost..or I would've been some help to myself. Empty.

A State of Bliss

Perpetual reality..I think I've found the perfect song!

Into the distance, a ribbon of black
Stretched to the point of no turning back
A flight of fancy on a windswept field
Standing alone my senses reeled
A fatal attraction holding me fast, how
Can I escape this irresistible grasp?

Can't keep my eyes from the circling skies
Tongue-tied and twisted just an earth-bound misfit, I

Ice is forming on the tips of my wings
Unheeded warnings, I thought I thought of everything
No navigator to guide my way home
Unladened, empty and turned to stone

A soul in tension that's learning to fly
Condition grounded but determined to try
Can't keep my eyes from the circling skies
Tongue-tied and twisted just an earth-bound misfit, I

Above the planet on a wing and a prayer,
My grubby halo, a vapour trail in the empty air,
Across the clouds I see my shadow fly
Out of the corner of my watering eye
A dream unthreatened by the morning light
Could blow this soul right through the roof of the night

There's no sensation to compare with this
Suspended animation, a state of bliss
Can't keep my eyes from the circling skies
Tongue-tied and twisted just an earth-bound misfit, I.

May mean something different for someone else..but no, this isn't inspirational. Just the truth, related.

Strangeness Intensified

It can be said to be totally meaningless..this New Blog. But anything brand new makes it "not-so-boring" as maybe it would have become, somehow. I have nothing to write, but then no-one has. It just appears out of nowhere!

Everything seems meaningless once in a while. Even everyday stuff...like studying, well, yeah this is just occasional. One day, it's as if everything fits! Miraculously..and then the next day..nothing is okay. It's like returning to what you were two years ago. A normal human-being, who'd never have got tired of being ordinary. Like everyone in this world is. Almost everyone. It's not as if you meet great people everyday..individualistic souls..read Misfits.

Misfits-- "disturbingly different", scary even? Maybe, I'd never know. Different...comparing someone as different as Back Street Boys and Pink Floyd. Gosh, that's worth some hatred. Talking of music..people never learn. Let their brains rot if they just need..ugh. The world could do without some of those Hip-Hoppers and..you know whats.

No offence, but I ain't forcing you into anything..as if anyone's listening to me? As if anyone's listening to any one of us? We don't need everyone with us to make us feel better. And yes, we don't need good grades too..or being liked by everyone..but some people just get lucky. Luckier than the rest. But can't help being looked upon by others..and who "we"?? Whoever. Who cares?

Artificiality..fakeness..bling? That glittering tiara of niceness? Oh well, the grubby halo of reality..looks like a good deal to me.