I see an entirely new species of people everyday. It's as if interesting people don't exist anymore. They're all the same person with varying levels of awareness of what they are. And they're not much. It's nice observing everything from a cozy bubble, a blanket of comfortable peace wrapped around yourself.
Get the Sports Day over with, then we can resume with normal life, if we can call it that. It's hard class-hopping everyday. But it's better that way, I've always wanted to have a two-person class, and most of the time it's only a one-person class.
Teachers getting ruder, students getting dumber. What kind of a world do I live in? It's not all teacher and not all students. But it's a good number of the defected. People were never really good, but this is getting to be too much. And I'm another step to becoming a full-fledged misanthrope.
The bubble's not so soft anymore. It now clinks while I walk.
Marchpast practice, full on. Last one tomorrow. Dress rehearsals. I always loved staying in school till eight or so. Loved travelling in the bus at night. With someone turning off the lights and scaring the kids. But then I was never the "kid" and never the "bad" person. Just a spectator. Bliss. All the Annual/Sports Days were good back then. I can't really be sure what fate has in store for me tomorrow.
Marching as a parade in unison. It had me thinking.. what if someone turned rebel and broke into a run yelling at the top of their voice? I like the marchpast. I really like it and I'm in it because of that. But it just hit me in the head. Why do we do this? Is there really a valid reason : Why? Does anything have a valid reason for existing? I would never know.
I sometimes think if it's me or the world.
I'm running out of things to look forward to. Anyway, volunteering, handling the kids.. that's one thing I can live with. Aww, cute. It was nice how the teacher incharge remembered me from a trip we went on 4 ears ago. Felt good. Then I just hope I get to escape and watch the rest of the rehearsals. It's entertainment, at least, if not the best way to spend my time. One of the best things is getting up late and boarding the bus in the afternoon.
I guess something's wrong with me. People live in the past, I'm beginning to live in the future. It's as if my school's life's already over. But IT IS as good as over. My semi-class, mundane afternoons, cramming away stuff. Banging my head against my bubble. Hurts, but thank goodness for that, it's hurt a lot more if I were to live bubble-free.
I'm living a life I hate.
I'm beginning to believe in fate.
I just need to get some things straight.
But I hope, I truly hope, it doesn't get too late.