I don't know what you mean. But I know I don't live my illusions. If I did, I wouldn't have gone miserable looking at the reality.. I wouldn't have tried not losing hope if I didn't know what actually happens. All my writing's gone to you..
And you don't care. Why do I even care to do things.. I don't do it for myself. Not just my writing, everything revolves around you. Everything. I can't get the act straight. If it was not so.. what am I doing writing again? Feeble attemp at making you understand which should not go vain. Whatever happens :(
I never tried writing, it just came, but now I do. Thoughts got too complicated to be written in simple sentences. I can't send brain waves around to get to let you know what the "truth" is actually.
Only if I think.. I had someone like me. Is it supposed to go all berserk after your deams come true.. or can you just undo the move? What do I have to do to make you see?
The only truth is see now is-- this has to be a long story. A biiig story.. 700 pages. Hehe. One long happy story. Don't go away. So I just stop thinking that nothing can be hoped for. I never knew my talk was so inconvincing. But if it is, my fault.
Sorry. I'm not perfect :(